Monday, January 31, 2011

Torty Takes the Capitol

Last weekend, I went to Washington, D.C.  I brought my squishy little turtle, Torty with me.  On the overnight drive there, I had the idea to do a photographic journal-type-thing of my trip.  This probably wasn't the best idea, but I stuck with it.  These are the pictures my sleep-deprived insanity produced.

 Torty at the Verizon Center, looking mighty studly, if I do say so myself.  This was where our day started after a twelve-hour bus ride.

This is Torty behind what I think is the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History.

Torty in front of the National Archives

Torty in front of the Smithsonian.  Not sure which one it is.  I think it's the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, but I don't really know because I was running on 90 minutes of sleep at this point.  Also, some time before this, Sister A called me from one of her classes to ask how things were going (It was a youth group trip and she goes to the Catholic school, so the teacher had her call me so that they would be in on the experience or something.)  I was extremely tired and confused, and her calling me when she should have been in school was not helping things.

This is Torty with the popcorn that I brought from home, which I ate instead of spending absurd amounts of money on food in a stupid cafe thing in the Smithsonian.  I was not spending $10 on barbeque, thankyouverymuch.

Okay, this one's sideways, and I don't even know why I took it, but I was in a cafe with very litte food and even less sleep so don't pick on me.

Torty and a giant freaking elephant.  Granted, all elephants are rather large, but this one was stuffed, so that makes it better than the others.  Look at his face.  He KNOWS he's better than the other elephants.

This is Torty in front of a metal tree.  You can't tell that it's metal, but it totally is.  IT WAS SO SHINY.

Okay, so I just realized that I actually missed the shiny tree while I was taking the picture.  This is a picture of Torty, a regular tree and some public art.  You can see the shiny tree through my fingers.

Is this the Senate building?  I can't remember.  It had something to do with Congress.

A blurry Torty, the Capitol building and some strangers.

A better picture of Torty and the Capitol building.

Torty and the Library of Congress, I think.  I don't know Washington, D.C. very well, even though this was my second trip there.

Torty and the Supreme Court building?  Again, not sure.  Don't get mad at me, I barely remeber this weekend.

Torty at that one place with the scary Subway people (They meant business.  They were rushing people throught that line.  Also, I think they conned me out of some of my change, but at that point, I was too exhausted to care.)  I don't remember what it's called, all I remember is wandering around with sore feet, just knowing that I looked insane.

Well, that is my photo journal thing from my trip to Washington, D.C.  I hope you enjoyed it, because I barely remember it.  Curse you, sleep deprivation, curse you.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

My Sincerest Apologies to my Professor. My Homework is All Completely Wrong.

I have an excuse, though.

I think I'm dying of an aneurysm.  This is the third time this month that I have thought this.  The first time was when I had pink earwax, but that was from the colored hairspray that I had put in my hair at Sassafras Jones's New Years Eve party.  The second time was when my eyes went on the fritz and the room started turning green during civics (I was not on drugs.  I don't do drugs.  Drugs are not my thing.).  This time, I thought that I was dying of an aneurysm because it felt like there was a tiny little Gollum living inside my head, stabbing me in the eye, repeatedly, with a tiny little knife. 

I seriously considered plucking the darned thing out. 

The only thing that really stopped me from plucking out my eye was the fact that I left my Swiss Army Knife at home, so I didn't have the little corkscrew bottle opener thingy (seriously, it would make a great eye removal tool.)  That and the fact that I would look a little odd with a giant eye hole and no eye (Those were the only two things that kept me from plucking out my stupid eye.  It wasn't even my favorite eye, and I had convinced myself that I could probably cover up the eye hole with my bangs, but it would still show sometimes and now I'm rambling but you can't be mad at me because I still might be dying.)

Yeah.  So, I apologize to my Japanese Professor for all of the wrong answers on my homework and my extrememly poor voice board post, and I apologize to my one classmate for the crappy response to her discussion forum post.  I could not think because Gollum was trying to kill me by stabbing me in the eye and/or giving me an aneurysm.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I Promise That Real-People Posts are Coming Soon...I'm Just Kind of Busy Right Now

It's true.

It's exam week, so that's why I haven't been writing much lately.  I promise that actual posts are coming soon.  I'm going to put one up that I wrote months ago, then didn't publish because I watched Toy Story 3 that same day and I had to get that rant off of my chest.

I'm going to a Phantom of the Opera party tomorrow and to Washington D.C. on Sunday, so there should be plenty to write about after all of this madness.

Speaking of the Phantom of the Opera, the other day, I was in Civics.  We were reviewing the entire semester for our exam (which is tomorrow.)  I tried to pay attention.  Truly, I did, but my mind has a way of getting away from me and going where it wants.  I zoned out after about fifteen minutes in class.  I was out for the rest of the hour.  What was going through my mind that was so engrossing as to preoccupy me for an entire 45 minutes, you ask?  It was a few bars of a song from the Phantom of the Opera (Think of meeeeeeeeeeeeeee, think of me foooooooondlyyy....)  So, yeah.  Then I got a weird headache with some dizziness and the room started turning green and I thought I was dying of some sort of aneurysm for the second time this month (the first time was when I had pink earwax, but it turned out that my earwax was only pink becuase of the colored hair spray that I had put in my hair at my friend's New Years Eve party.)

I promise to post more things that aren't ridiculously boring after exams are over. 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Hi. This is for You.

I wrote you all a poem:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Vengeance is sweet
And I hate you.


I don't know where these things come from.

I don't actually hate you.  I love you all very much.  Especially you.  Yeah, you.  You reading this right now.  I love you.  Is that creepy?  I don't care don't think so.

Fun With Bowling Alleys

I went to a bowling alley today.  I didn't bowl, but I did watch the other people who were there bowling, which is twice as fun, with none of the painful humiliation of throwing gutter ball after gutter ball after gutter ball.

Not that I've ever done that.


Well, anyway...

So, I was at the bowling alley watching my dad and my siblings bowl.  It was quite entertaining.  Sister A bowled using a technique that I will henceforth refer to as "Kamikaze Slam."  She would hobble up to the lane (she hobbled because she has a broken foot, so now I call her "Chief."  If you cannot figure out why I call her Chief, I am disappointed in you.  Here is a hint:  Think Disney *coughthefoxandthehoundcough*)  after she had finished hobbling up to the lane, she would let go of the ball, which would then fly into the air and land on the lane in a bowling ball sneak attack.  Then it would roll down the lane, but it would usually end up in the gutter before it reached the pins.

Sister B used a technique that I like to call "Little Granny Ker-plunk."  She would walk up to the lane, stop, then toss the ball into the air (using both hands, mind you.)  The ball would land on the lane and proceed to meander down towards the pins.  Her strategy made me think that she thought that the pins would spook if approached too hastily, so she was trying to lull them into a false sense of security by making her ball go slower than an ailing slug.

My brother, on the other hand, used a technique very similar to the one that I used to use when I bowled.  I call it "Bumper Pinball."  In this technique, the player goes up to the lane, with his or her ball in hand.  With the bumpers in their correct position, completely blocking the gutters, the player then takes the ball and rolls it on a diagonal toward the bumper.  The ball then rolls back and forth between the two bumpers, eventually reaching the pins (hopefully knocking down more pins than a more traditional technique would.)  As ridiculous as this seems, this technique is actually highly effective, and my brother used it to beat everyone in my family.

Ooh!  Another fun thing about that bowling alley:  it had a Lord of the Rings pinball machine.  I have a picture of it on my phone, but I can't take pictures from my phone and put them on the computer and it's all blurry anyway so it wouldn't really be worth it and this is a really long run-on sentence and I should stop now.

Friday, January 7, 2011

I'm Going to Smart the Stupid Right Out of You

Turn that Chemistr-E into a Chemistr-A!:  a horrible joke I thought of last night, then I made an advertisement for it but I couldn't publish it, but then I made another one today, because when I get a bad idea, I really stick with it and this is a super-long sentence.

Yeah, this is really low quality because computers are evil.  


Okay, what it says is: 
The Tutoring Empire
Home of the World's Greatest Tutors
Are you struggling in school?  Feeling overwhelmed by homework and grades?
Well, stress no more, for The Tutoring Empire is here to fix you.
Turn that Chemistr-E into a  Chemistr-A!

(In case you don't get my awful joke, "Chemistry"  ends in a "y," so it has an "ee" sound at the end of it, which sounds like that one grade that nobody ever wants, but everyone wants an A, hence "Chemistr-E to a Chemistr-A.)