Wednesday, November 3, 2010

First Impressions-They're Important. Especially if You Don't Want to be a Serf.

First impressions are very important.  You and I, as well as many others, know this.  Some people, however, seem to have missed the information train when it comes to first impressions.  Today was a fine example.

This morning, I was in the library talking to my friends, waiting for the bell to ring, signifying that the dreaded class day had begun.  When it did, we all filed into the hallway where the lockers are.

I was walking with my good friend, the Wonderful Miss Funshine to her locker, as per usual. When we got to her locker, we hugged before parting ways, like we always do.

There is a new kid in our school.  I don't know his name, so we will call him New Kid.  New Kid had never said anything to me before this morning.  When I stopped to hug the Wonderful Miss Funshine, he yelled at me (actually, he probably wasn't yelling at anyone in particular, it was probably one of those weird things that you're supposed to say quietly to yourself when you're too chicken to actually confront someone, only he said it really loudly.  Anyway, back to the story).  He said, and I quote: "Jeez, woman!  Stop right in front of me in the hallway, why don't you?"

Why don't I, indeed.

Now, as you may or may not have noticed, my name is not "woman," and I do not enjoy being referred to as such.  So, naturally, I got a little angry.  I thought about enacting some horribly vicious revenge, like calling him a jerk, but I was still with the Wonderful Miss Funshine, and she brightens my day, so I didn't.  He probably doesn't even realize just how close he came to inciting the wrath of a 5 foot 5 former Girl Scout.

But, seriously, "woman?"  I have a name, you know.  What are you going to do next, New Kid?  Huh?  Are you going to demand that I "make you a sammich?"  Because I won't.  Not even if you say please.  That's how mad I am about this.  I freaking love sandwiches, but I wouldn't make you one even if you begged me.  Maybe you could have the scraps from the one that I would make for my dog before I made one for you, because my dog is freaking awesome and you can't even compare so you can just shut up.

What was I saying, again?

Oh, right.  "Woman."

Seriously, though, that's pretty disrespectful.  Especially since New Kid is a freshman or something (I think.  He's definitely a freshman or a sophomore.  I'm pretty sure he's a freshman though.) and I am a junior.  I had no opinion about New Kid before this little incident.  Now, because of his horrible first impression, he irks me.  And by irking me, he pretty much ruined any chance he had of being in my favor when I take over America with the little old ladies when the country's infrastructure collapses (it'll be any day now, just you wait.)  So, yeah, he pretty much doomed himself to a life of serfdom in my glorious new kingdom, just by making a poor first impression.    So, to sum up: poor first impression=life as lowly peasant without rights under the rule of little old ladies, and me, the Amazing Miss Fantastic.  I hope this shows you just how important first impressions are.  If not, well, I could always use more serfs for my kingdom.

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