It's the end of the world today.
Or, at least, that's what the billboard told me.
It's all just a matter of time now. As I prepare for the last 30 minutes of my life on Earth, I am tempted to wax nostalgic about my past, and to mourn for the things that will never be.
Let's get started!
Things I've Never Done:
1. Gone to Europe
2. Had a sword fight in the morning mist of a bamboo forest
3. Eaten dragonfruit
4. Rode a polar bear across the Serengeti
5. Gone skydiving
6. Told my cat that I love it
7. Gone on The Price is Right
8. Gotten married
9. Come to think of it, I've never been on a date.
11. Held a lion
12. Danced the tango
13. Danced the tango with a tiger
14. Spent copious amounts of money on a shopping spree.
15. Rode a pony into space
16. Hiked along a mountain chain
17. Climbed Mount Everest
18. Eaten sushi
19. Learned 5 languages
20. Killed a wild boar with my bear hands
21. Killed a bear to get his hands
22. Slapped someone in the face
23. Gone to Candy Mountain
Okay, none of those are really big deals, except for maybe #20-22. I can live without having done those things.
Things I Have Done:
1. Memorized a ridiculous amount of song lyrics
2. Took Japanese because I could
3. Tried to turn my German Shepard into a sled dog
4. Shoved beads up my nose
5. Read Winnie the Pooh
6. Read Harry Potter numerous times
7. Watched and read The Princess Bride
8. Rode a horse until my legs hurt
9. Learned guitar
10. Sang in front of a couple thousand people
11. Tried to dance an Irish jig
12. Learned to play the trombone
13. Told my dog that I love him
14. Read over 200 books
15. Watched the Phantom of the Opera
16. Started a blog
17. Faked sick
18. Learned French
19. Got a new cell phone
20. Got a Facebook
21. Went to Washington D.C.
22. Smuggled a Swiss Army Knife into the Smithsonian
23. Danced like a crazy person in public.
I can live with that.
Plus I took a shower AND shaved my legs, so when Satan himself shows up at my door at 6:00 sharp to drag me to Hell for not believing the Lord's prophet, That Dude Who Predicted That The World Would End On May 21st, at least I'll look good.