Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Go Away, Susan

So, I've been watching the Chronicles of Narnia quite a bit lately, which is always a good thing because, hey, who doesn't love Narnia?  The same people who hate kittens and all that is good in this world, that's who.

Anyway, I love Narnia, but there is just one character I cannot stand:  Susan.  Susan irks me.  She irks me to my core.  I do not like her.  I wish that she would go away.  I can't really give a lot of reasons for my dislike of Susan without including some spoilers, so suffice it to say that she is just a smidge too Susan-y for my tastes.

Also, she is after my man.

Seriously, Susan?  You go and be all not productive and almost get Lucy eaten by a bear when you can't aim your stupid bow which you used for, like, twenty years the last time you were in Narnia, and then you try to make a move on Caspian?

Nuh-uh.  I am not okay with this.

I am going to take your stupid bow and drive you out of Narnia with it so that Caspian and I can live in peace, far away from your home-wrecking tendencies.  There is no use arguing, for I have made up my mind.  Seriously, you are the most wortless ruler of Narnia ever.  Queen Susan the Gentle?  Really?  Even Edmund got a cooler title than you did, and he almost ruined everything by siding with the White Witch.  That just goes to show how much you suck.

Goodbye, Susan.  I will miss you not at all.

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