So, I've been watching the Chronicles of Narnia quite a bit lately, which is always a good thing because, hey, who doesn't love Narnia? The same people who hate kittens and all that is good in this world, that's who.
Anyway, I love Narnia, but there is just one character I cannot stand: Susan. Susan irks me. She irks me to my core. I do not like her. I wish that she would go away. I can't really give a lot of reasons for my dislike of Susan without including some spoilers, so suffice it to say that she is just a smidge too Susan-y for my tastes.
Also, she is after my man.
Seriously, Susan? You go and be all not productive and almost get Lucy eaten by a bear when you can't aim your stupid bow which you used for, like, twenty years the last time you were in Narnia, and then you try to make a move on Caspian?
Nuh-uh. I am not okay with this.
I am going to take your stupid bow and drive you out of Narnia with it so that Caspian and I can live in peace, far away from your home-wrecking tendencies. There is no use arguing, for I have made up my mind. Seriously, you are the most wortless ruler of Narnia ever. Queen Susan the Gentle? Really? Even Edmund got a cooler title than you did, and he almost ruined everything by siding with the White Witch. That just goes to show how much you suck.
Goodbye, Susan. I will miss you not at all.