Last Friday, I went out to the big city with the Stellar Miss Moon and two other girls from my class, who, for privacy's sake, we will call Miss Thang and the Concentrated Miss Awesome. We were going to get supplies to use to design the center pieces for the tables at prom. On the way there, there were a bunch of birds on the side of the road, prompting me to say this:
Me: Birds! (Like Bambi says it)
Which got this response:
The Concentrated Miss Awesome: You sound like Rudolf!
Miss Thang: It's Bambi, you dumb***
Why, yes, I did just censor my own blog. Yes, I know the asterisks aren't fooling anyone. No, I don't care.
Anyway, on that trip we got all sorts of cool things for the centerpieces, then we went to Wal-mart, because the Concentrated Miss Awesome needed to get something. There were Wal-mart brand unmentionables right out there in the open for all to see, which just goes to show that Wal-mart is just as classy as I thought it was.
Anyway (I'm getting off topic all over the place here), at some point in our Wal-mart trip, The Concentrated Miss Awesome and I got separated from the Stellar Miss Moon and Miss Thang. When we found them again, they regaled us with tales of their adventures. Apparently, they were lost and were standing next to an African-American gentle man and had this conversation:
Miss Thang: We're going to be lost forever! We'll be lost children we're going to end up on milk cartons!
Anonymous Gentleman: HA! Milk cartons! Have you seen this woman?
He thought the milk carton comment was extremely hilarious.
After we left Wal-mart, Miss Thang tripped on a random potato in the parking lot, and we also found a lot of other abandoned foodstuffs, which caused us to think that maybe, just maybe, the people who shop at Wal-mart aren't the most responsible or careful with their produce.
That's pretty much all that I remember about Friday. On to Saturday!
On Saturday I went to a place that sells ice cream and such in one of the neighboring towns. I went with some of my friends, Pipsqueak McGee, the King/Archbishop of Marching Band, the Stellar Miss Moon, and her sister, the Minor Miss Moon. On the way there we had a conversation that went a little something like this:
Somebody: Shake what your mama gave you!
The King/Archbishop of Marching Band: Okay! My mom just got me these new maracas!
Everyone: *Ridiculous Laughter*
So that was fun.
But that's not even close to being the best quote of the night.
Some other memorable parts of the night were when Pipsqueak McGee shoved another kid into a bar stool and he tripped and nearly fell on his face. Another one is when Pipsqueak McGee had a "beginning-life crisis." But those still are not the best memories of the night.
No, by far, the best part of the night was when the King/Archbishop of Marching Band, the Stellar Miss Moon, and I decided to play The Game of Life.
It started out innocently enough. We all went to college and got decent jobs (I was a lawyer, the King/Archbishop of Marching Band was a veterinarian, and the Stellar Miss Moon, who got the worst job out of all of us, got the accountant.) The Stellar Miss Moon had difficulty pronouncing the word "veterinarian," so she and the King/Archbishop of Marching Band had this conversation multiple times:
The Stellar Miss Moon: Vetinarian
The King/Archbishop of Marching Band: No. It's "vet-er-i-narian"
The Stellar Miss Moon: Vetinarian
The King/Archbishop of Marching Band: *glares*
So, yeah. That happened.
After we all had our decent jobs, the next step was to get married. I got married first (at that point, I took my pink lady player piece and put her in the passenger seat and forced my husband to drive), then it was the King/Archbishop of Marching Band, who eloped (he IS a veterinarian) and then it was the Stellar Miss Moon. One of the little pink lady people things fell on the floor at one point and the King/Archbishop of Marching Band was crawling on the floor looking for it when he gave us this quote:
The King/Archbishop of Marching Band: I'm crawling on the floor looking for tiny pink women.
We all thought it was hilarious.
Anyway, after we were all married, the King/Archbishop of Marching Band was the first to have kids, a set of twins whom I forced him to name Jude and Rita. The King/Archbishop of Marching Band ended up having at least three kids, the Stellar Miss Moon had three and I had one because, apparently, I'm barren when we play Life. The King/Archbishop of Marching Band kept falling out of his car, which caused us to joke that he was "snockered" (snockered means "drunk" for those of you who didn't know)
We switched jobs around a bunch of times because we all kept getting fired. I eventually got to be the doctor, but then I got fired and went back to lawyer, and I kept that for the rest of the game. The Stellar Miss Moon ended up as the veterinarian and the King/Archbishop of Marching Band ended up as the doctor.
After a while, we finished the game, me a lonely old woman with one failure child (who we decided had joined a freaky cult with her punk-rock boyfriend instead of going to college) and no grandchildren (although my one daughter might have had children that I don't know about while she was in the cult,) the King/Archbishop of Marching Band with his three or more children who each owned a different Ivy League college, even though none of the children had actually attended college, and the Stellar Miss Moon with her three wonder children who all went to college and would probably support her in her old age.
However, I won the game of life because I had the most money (2.16 Million dollars.) I think that the Stellar Miss Moon Came in second with 1.85 Million dollars, and the King/Archbishop of Marching Band came in third with 1.635 Million dollars (or something like that).
But that was still not the best part of the evening.
Oh, no. By far the best quote of the night happened while we were playing Life. I now present to you the funniest moment I have experienced in months:
The King/Archbishop of Marching Band: *Holds $5,000 bill in the Stellar Miss Moon's direction* Last night was great
Us: *Raucous laughter that lasts for quite some time*
Other People in the Room: *look concerned for our mental and physical health*
Us: *Laughter dies down*
The Stellar Miss Moon: I still want that $5,000 dollars
Us: *Laughter begins anew and continues to last for quite some time*
And that, my friends, was my weekend. I hope you enjoyed it.