Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Stellar Miss Moon Hates the Cheetah Girls

So, the other day, I was in the library at school with all my friends, and we were just chatting and having a good time.

Well, everyone else was just chatting, I was singing Cheetah Girls songs.

You see, the Cheetah Girls have to be one of the most annoying musical groups (can we even call them that?  I don't know if we can.  Let's just call them an "ensemble") ever, and I used to be obsessed with them.  I even had the first four Cheetah Girls books.  Yeah, you probably didn't know that the crappy Disney Channel movie was based on a series of books, but I did, and I had read some of them.  So, anyway, I know all of these crappy Cheetah Girls songs, and sometimes, they come up from the depths of the murky past and get wedged in my brain, at which point, I am forced to sing them in an attempt to either dislodge them, or bring everyone around me down to my level of suffering.

It all started in pre-calc.  Now, the Stellar Miss Moon sits next to me in pre-calc, and she does not appreciate the Cheetah Girls.  I mean, she really  doesn't appreciate the Cheetah Girls.  One might even go so far as to say that she dislikes or even loathes the Cheetah Girls.  So, as you can imagine, she got very annoyed with me, but I don't know why she was getting so huffy, because it's not like I wasn't apologizing for singing them, and I was totally suffering just as much as she was in that situation.  Probably more because I had the Cheetah Girls inside and outside my head.

Anyway, I eventually stopped singing the songs, and the Stellar Miss Moon eventually stopped threatening me with bodily harm.  Soon, the bell rang, signalling the end of pre-calc, and we went our separate ways, she to chemistry, and I to the library for my online class.

During my online class, I managed to, for the most part, forget about the Cheetah Girls.  However, when my online class was over, and everyone was in the library with me, something, I don't know what, made me think of them again, so I started singing "The Party's Just Begun" or something like that.  This made the Stellar Miss Moon very annoyed, so, naturally, I sang it louder and closer to her face (because I'm a great friend like that.)  This caused the Stellar Miss Moon to pull out a pencil and stab me in the hand.  SHE DREW BLOOD.  I was shocked and slightly concerned about infections at this point, so I voiced my shock and surprise at her conduct.

Me:  You stabbed me in the hand!
The Stellar Miss Moon:  Yes.
Me:  You drew blood!
The Stellar Miss Moon:  I'm not going to apologize.  You were singing the Cheetah Girls!
Me:  You know what, I forgive you anyway.  You know why?  Because we're...Amigas Cheetas, friends for life!  The rhythm and each other, that's what keeps us tight!
The Stellar Miss Moon:  STOP!
Me: *Continues singing*

And that, children, is why you should never expose the Stellar Miss Moon to the Cheetah Girls, because she will stab you with a pencil and possibly also try to wrestle you to the ground with some sort of headlock, which is hard to get out of unless you fight dirty and/or go limp, causing her to drop you in surprise.

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