Thursday, April 21, 2011

To the Person Who Didn't Flush

(Just to warn you all, if you find the bathroom to be a very private place that you don't like to talk or hear about, then maybe you shouldn't read this.  You have been warned.)

You, madam, have ruined my morning.

I was just minding my own business, on my way to the bathroom for my morning bathroom break, completely content with the world.  Nothing could bring me down from the cloud that I was on.

Then I walked into the bathroom, only to be greeted by a toiled full of unflushed refuse.


But that's not what ruined my morning.  Oh, no, not at all.  The sight of your waste was not what brought me down, not in the slightest.

You see, I am a creature of habit, and I like to do things the same way that I have always done them, but you messed things up, you....person,  you.  But, you may be asking, why am I talking about habits when I was just previously talking about bathroom breaks, and why am I writing an angry blog post to you, when just in the last paragraph I was talking about how the sight of your waste products did not upset me?  Well, I'll tell you why.


You took my favorite stall, soiled it, and then did not flush.  I always use that stall.  Without fail.  Always.  However, you, thinking only of yourself, decided not to flush, which forced me to relocate to the stall next to it, which isn't nearly as nice.

I mean, I understand why you might not be able to flush that toilet on the first try.  I had some difficulties with it myself.  I know that the flusher handle (is it called a plunger?  I don't know.) is weird, and it doesn't work if you push down on it, but it will flush if you pull up on it, which leads me to believe that you may not have even tried to flush, and that is just disgusting.

At the very least, I hope that you are satisfied with the chaos you introduced into my life by not flushing the toilet.  I hope that you are satisfied that I may never use that bathroom again out of fear of a repeat occurrence. 

I also hope that you get toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

That is all.

The person whose morning you, so carelessly, ruined,

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